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So long...

I have not visited this blog for a long time because a lot has happened in my life in the last few months to keep me busy.

I got pregnant in September and was looking forward to having my 5th baby in June 2013.

My mum came for hajj and I was able to see her again after 5 years. It was such a happy reunion maa sha Allah. We went to meet her in madina 3 days after she arrived and she was so excited to see all of us especially my last 2 kids that she had not seen after they were born.

I made hajj for the second time with my hb. A kind friend (may Allah reward her and bless her loads) offered to help look after my kids and she actually moved into my house just to make them comfy. So during hajj I spent most of the time with my mum and really enjoyed her company.

2 and a half weeks after returning from hajj, I went in for my first scan at 10 weeks 2 days but was told there was no heartbeat which means baby was not ok. I was sent to the big hospital for further tests and it was confirmed that the baby was dead 2 days after. I spent the next few days getting one test or the other and was able to get a d and c done exactly 1 week ago. I had to wait for 12 days after the first scan before the d n c and it was such a traumatic period for me knowing I was walking around with a dead baby in me. I however was able to hold it all together and not lose my mind before the time, with the help of Allah.

A friend who has had a number of d and cs assured me it was a simple procedure and I would be discharged few hours after the operation. I went in Saturday nite to be admitted as my doctor said it will be done Sunday Morning. I was calm before I got to the hospital but as soon as I got there I was overcome with intense fear, like I was going to die or something. It was so bad that I was having pain in my chest subhanallah!. When I got to the room in the antenatal ward and the nurse showed me my bed, I burst into tears when I remember being on this type of bed 3 and a half years ago to have AZ. I think the fact that I had been walking around the house all this while holding my emotions and putting up an act because I did not want the kids to see me distraught and miserable, made my hb overestimate my strength so he was shocked to see me crying there by the bedside. In fact, he was scared. He asked me if the nurses told me something that was making me cry. Like has the situation worsened and they need to cut through my tummy to remove the dead baby? I said no, they ddnt tell me anything new. I just was reminded of how I used to go to the hospital to have a baby and now I was getting admitted to have a dead baby removed from my body...

I put myself together again and waited for hb to leave before crying myself to sleep. I slept for like 2 hours and then couldn't sleep anymore so I  decided to just read the books my dear friend packed for me before leaving the house to keep me busy. As morning drew near, my fear increased and I was wondering if I would never see my kids again. At this point, I started praying for forgiveness and that Allah should Protect and take care of my kids if I were to pass on. I was calm after that till I was taken to the theatre. I must have looked so frightened that one of the nurses came to tell me not to be scared and that I would be fine. The woman who gave me the anesthesia told me to say bismillah...

I woke up 30 minutes later to the cries of babies who have just been delivered via cs. It took me some minutes to be fully awake and aware of my surrounding. I was thankful, very thankful that I just kept saying alhamdulillah. I was returned to the ward and was thinking I will go home in a few hours as my friend told me. She also told me I may spot for 3 to 4 days after the d and c when I get home. Well, to my surprise, I was bleeding heavily that I had to call the nurses to come have a look. I was told to keep lying down on the bed and that the bleeding will cease. I was kept in the hospital till the next day to be observed. It did eventually lighten up and I was discharged in the afternoon the next day. The doctor told me to expect to bleed like my period and that my regular period was to return in like 4 weeks. I had normal bleeding like a period for 6 days that was reducing in intensity and it stopped yesterday. I was relieved to have it all over and done with. But I was wrong. I woke up this morning to see a lot of bright red blood and I was scared to the bone. I was at a lost as to what to do. I just laid in bed for hours. I did not pray fajr even though I had been praying all this while just to be safe. I made a search online to see if it was normal because I so feared going back to the hospital. I got mixed responses and just decided to wait it out and see what tomorrow will bring. As I type this, the bleeding has reduced to only spotting again so I am hoping it will be ok insha Allah .

Alhamdulillah!!!

Its been one long and busy summer for my family. In the begining of the summer vacation, I had a long list of goals set for the kids. This included memorizing one juz each and continous revision to perfect the surahs they have memorized. I also wanted each of them to complete the curriculum for their grades in english, maths and science as well as improve on their reading both arabic and english books among other things. I told them that even though summer is supposed to be for vacation, travelling and having a nice time, we would spend a great part of our summer studying. The schedule was; the whole day would be spent studying while taking breaks to perform salah, eat and clean up along the line. Their playtime is after maghrib. I told them if they co-oporate and work hard enough such that we are able to meet our target, they would have many nice gifts incuding new bikes. I told them that the only way to compensate for not travelling to visit our family is by making the utmost out of their time so that they will not be losing both ways. I thank Allah for the type of children I have. They usually easily accept whatever I tell them and I can say this is the best summer I have spent in this country based on how I spent my time with my kids, alhamdulillah. We made umrah twice during the vacation and then spent tbe eid in makkah and the day after eid in Madina. The joy living in Saudia maa sha Allah. Here are the pictures of the eid cakes I made with them. I cant even describe how nice they tasted....

WHY FASTING WAS SINGLED OUT

Why was fasting singled out.....?

Assalam 'alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

Why was fasting SINGLED OUT when Allaah said, “Fasting is for Me and I shall reward for it?”

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah said: ‘Every deed of the son of Adam is for him except fasting; it is for Me and I shall reward for it…’” [Al-Bukhaari (1761) and Muslim (1946) ]

Because all deeds are for the sake of Allaah and He is the One Who rewards for them, the scholars differed concerning this phrase, “Fasting is for Me and I shall reward for it” – why is fasting singled out in this manner?

Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) quoted the views of ten scholars who sought to explain the meaning of this hadeeth and why fasting was singled out in this manner. The most important of these views are as follows:

1 – That there is no showing off in fasting as may happen in other acts of worship. Al-Qurtubi said: Because showing off may enter into all good deeds, but no one can see when a person is fasting except Allaah, so Allaah connected it to Himself. Hence He said in the hadeeth, “He gives up his desire for My sake.” Ibn al-Jawzi said: All acts of worship can be seen when done, and they may be contaminated with some element of showing off, unlike fasting.

2 – That what is meant by the words, “I shall reward for it” is: I am the only One Who knows the extent of his reward and how much his hasanaat (good deeds) will be multiplied. Al-Qurtubi said: What this means is that the amount of reward for good deeds may become known to people, and they will be rewarded between ten and seven hundred fold, and as much as Allaah wants, except fasting, for Allaah will reward it without measure. This is supported by a report narrated by Muslim (115) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every deed of the son of Adam will be rewarded between ten and seven hundred fold. Allaah said: ‘Except fasting, for it is for Me and I shall reward for it’” – i.e., I shall reward it greatly, without specifying how much. This is like the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning”

[al-Zumar 39:10]

3 – That what is meant by “fasting is for Me” is that it is the dearest of acts of worship to Me. Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: The words “Fasting is for Me” are sufficient to indicate the superiority of fasting over all other acts of worship. Al-Nasaa’i (2220) narrated that Abu Umaamah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You should fast, for there is nothing like it.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i.

She died on her wedding night...

True strory told by Shaykh “Abdul Mohsen al Ahmad”, it happened in Abha (the capital of Asir province in Saudi Arabia)

“After performing Salat Al Maghrib, she put her make-up, wore her beautiful white dress preparing herself for her wedding party, Then she heard the Adhan of ‘Ishaa and she realized that she broke her Wudu.

She told her mother : “mother, I have to go to make wudu and pray ‘Ishaa”

Her mother was shocked : “Are you crazy?!! Guests are waiting for you, to see you! what about your make -up? It will be all washed away by water!!” then she added:

” I am your mother and I order you not to perform salah now! wallahi if you make wudu now, I will be angry at you”
Her daughter replied :”wallahi I won’t go out from here till I perform my salah! Mother you must know that “There is no obedience to any creature in disobedience to the Creator.”!!

Her mother said:”what would our guests say about you when you’ll show up in your wedding party without make-up?! You won’t be beautiful in their eyes! and They will make fun of you!”

The daughter asked with a smile :”Are you worried because I won’t be beautiful in the eyes of creations? What about my Creator?! I am worried because, if I miss my salah, I won’t be beautiful in His eyes”

She started to make wudu, and all her make-up was washed away, but she didn’t care.

Then she began her salah and at the moment she bowed down to make sujud, she didn’t realize that it will be her last one!

Yes! She died while in sujud! What a great ending for a Muslimah who insisted on obeying her Lord! Many people who heard her story were so touched!!

She put Him and His obedience first in her priorities, so He granted her the best ending that any Muslim would have!
She wanted to be closer to Him, so He took her soul in the place where Muslim are the closest to Him! Subhana Allah!
She didn’t care if she would be beautiful in the eyes of creatures so she was beautiful in the eyes of Her Creator!

O Muslim sister, imagine if you are in her place! What will you do? What will you choose : pleasing creations or your Creator?

O dear sister! Do you guarantee that you will live for the next minutes? Hours? Months?!!
No one knows when their hour will come? Or when will they meet angels of death? So are you ready for that moment?
O non hijab sister! What do you choose : Pleasing yourself by not wearing Hijab or pleasing your Lord by wearing hijab?
Are you ready to meet Him without Hijab?


And what about you, sister who are “in relationship” or “open relationship”, are you ready to meet your Lord today? Tomorrow?! What do you choose pleasures of this Dunya or pleasures of akhirah?!
May Allah guide us all to what pleases Him and grant everyone who is reading these lines good ending, Ameen.

Source

RaNdOm thoughts

I have been busy with kids and tahfeez school for weeks so I have not been able to write in my blog. I am done with exams now and the kids started their summer break so I can steal a few minutes here and there to write. I wish the summer can be spent relaxing and having lots of fun and traveling to see our family members, but its not going to be that way. My kids go to the Government schools which uses the Arabic curriculum and arabic as a medium of teaching every subject. We are from an English speaking country so I have to homeschool my children in English language especially during the summer so that they can cope in a regular English speaking school if and when we return home. This would not have been an issue if we were certain we would be here as long as we want, but KSA does not usually grant citizenship to expats no matter how long  ere but their status is like that of any other person born anywhere else. They don't have any special privilege as a result of being born here. If may Allah forbid, we become jobless, we all have to leave. So, teaching them in English using the American curriculum becomes imperative so that we have a back up plan in case of the unexpected. It will be nice staying here forever but there is really no true Hijrah to KSA since You cant determine how long you remain there and everything at the end is in Allah's hands.

 What I wrote in my last post about a man remarrying soon after his wife passes away was in no way meant to criticize the man in question. I can't even imagine what he must be going through. He is all alone now and the kids are still in their country because he cant care for them properly on his own and he has to go to work so they will have to be left alone at home for many hours in a day which is not a good thing. 

  The only thing I personally felt even though it should not be any of my business is that it was a little too soon. But hey I cant even blame my late friends hb since it was her own mum that offered her sister to him in marriage. The mum might have reasoned he would end up marrying some woman one day sooner or later anyways so why not tell him to marry her daughter so that she would not lose him as a son-in-law  and risk her grandkids being maltreated by a total stranger that he is likely to marry. I guess the way women think is completely different from the way men think. Thankful slave mentioned that it usually happens the other way round as well. Yes. I have seen it before even in my own culture. In fact this is more common than the husband marrying his late wife's sister and it is seen as acceptable. But I notice a woman usually feels reluctant to remarry after her husband dies and if they do, it takes a longer time before they can really make themselves do it. The sister Thankful slave mentioned that married her B-I-L after her hb passed away most likely did not marry him the day after her iddah ended right? even though that would have been halal.One of our friends was not at all surprised when she heard our late friends hb was remarrying. She said she had a neighbour back home who married his late wife's sister a week after she passed away. Meanwhile a friend of mine whom I wrote about on this same blog who lost her husband january last year still puts me off each time I pray for her that she would be blessed by another husband who will help her to raise her young kids. She tells me she does not need a husband; she needs to give her all to her kids. Of course I think she may eventually change her mind one day and decide to remarry, but hmmmm...what I have concluded in my little mind is..................................................................

Men, no matter what they think or how macho they think they are and see themselves as being superior to woman, Despite the fact that  many do not respect women or even realize how important women are, are more in need of women than they will ever be able to accept and affirm, women also need men but men need women more than women need men. I have heard many women say they will not remarry if their husband dies before them whereas men are in fact fantasizing having another woman or other women even when their wife is beside them. I know most people will not agree with this but these are my RaNdOm thoughts for today.

 

Mixed feelings.

I heard some news today that I did not expect and had mixed feelings about it. I was talking to a sister today lets call her R, and she asked me if its true that one of my neighbours is a second wife to which I affirmed. She said she heard that the first wife was here with the husband and was sent back to their country when he married the second wife and wanted to bring her over to Saudi. I was aware of the story as the first wife was my friend when she was here. So the sister was kind of shocked and asking me how the first wife took it and  is she ok with being sent away, (not divorced) and being replaced by a much younger woman, etc. I told the sister that as far as I know, the first wife is ok with the second marriage because polygyny is common where she came from although she did not want to go back home at that time but she did not really have a choice as it was the husband's decision to have her go back home so he could bring the new wife over. He travels to their country during the summer to see her and he sends money to her regularly. Anyways, this led to me asking how polygyny is seen in the country R came from and she said it is not common as most men marry just 1 wife. So I asked what if the wife dies would the husband remarry? she said yes of course, but while she is alive, he remains married to her only and this is their culture. Coincidentally, R and My friend who passed away recently are from the same country, so I couldn't help asking what is the average duration of time a man who lost his wife is normally expected to wait before he remarries (in their culture) and I gave Tahera's husband as an example.Then I got the bombshell; He will remarry in a month to Tahera's sister. He already spoke to her mum and they are in agreement with the proposal. So why did I have mixed feelings? I was happy on one hand that at least he would have someone to take care of the kids and a companion for himself to help lessen the grief of the sudden loss of his wife. On the other hand, I could not help wondering if my hubby would be trying to marry my sister 2 months after I pass away. Not that I have a sister that is not married but if I had, would he want to do that as well? I don't mean its a bad thing to do because at least marrying the sister of your late wife would be better for the kids than marrying a total stranger who did not know their mum and who is likely to maltreat them except she has the fear of Allah in her. But hey, most people don't walk around thinking if they die their spouse will marry their sister (or brother if its the husband that died).
So there I have another reason to be reminded about the nothingness of the life of this world and to strive to put forward as many good deeds as possible for my akhira. And I write this as a reminder for all of us.
If you die today, someone is is going to live in your house, someone else is going to wear your cloths, someone else is going to drive your car, someone else is going to marry your husband or your wife and it goes on and on. I am not writing this to put blame on Tahera's husband, he probably took this decision in the best interest of his kids. If he does not remarry, he can't take care of the kids alone because he has to go to work, The only other option would be sending the kids back home to be raised by family members which would not be fair to the kids to not live with their dad after losing their mum. May Allah give him and is new wife to be the best and may Allah help them both in raising the kids and giving them their best. aamin.

Plateau!!!

Since I wrote my last entry, my weight has stalled. So basically, I have stepped on my dear old scale every morning to see the same number + or minus2 pounds for the last 2 weeks. Still on the fast 5 and I can't figure out why I stopped losing. I may try to add low carb to the fast 5 to see if it will bring me down the plateau insha Allah. I am not really perturbed about this because I feel staying on a plateau is better than gaining all the weight back. I suspect not having the time to go for my evening walks contributed to my stall, anyhow, I'm not giving up. I will keep doing my fast 5 till I get there, insha Allah.

Saying "I am Salafî", when is it, and when is it not allowed? | Sh Ibn '...

Scholar: Imâm Muhammad bin Sâlih bin ´Uthaymîn
Source: Fatâwâ al-Haram al-Madanî (53)
Reference: Darulhadith.com, Sweden
www.aFatwa.com

Question: What is the ruling on ascribing to the Salaf as-Sâlih and saying that one is Salafî in ‘Aqîdah (creed)?

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymîn: It is obligatory to subscribe to the Salaf since they followed that which the prophet (sallâ Allâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) followed.

As for calling oneself “Salafî” intending to establish a sect or subscribe to a sect, then we fight against the sects. We deem that the Islâmic Ummah should be one single group in accordance with the way of the prophet (sallâ Allâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and his companions.

However, if he means by the word “Salafi” that he is following the Salaf without intending to establish a sect that accuses dissidents to be deviant, then this is correct. We’re all Salafiyyûn! We all ask Allâh to allow us to die upon the way of the Salaf. We ask Allâh for it.

To establish a sect by the name “Salafî”, or some other by the name “Ikhwânî”, or a third by the name “Tablîghî” and so on is not something I deem to be allowed. Did the companions divide in this way? No. The one who says the opposite has to prove it.

Still losing on the fast 5 diet

Its been another month on the fast 5 diet and I managed to lose another 6 pounds. I started on the 24th of january @ 193.5lb. I now weigh 181.2lb, maa sha Allah. This makes a total of 12lb in 2 months; not a lot, but I intend to stick to it until I reach my goal weight one day insha Allah. I was off the diet for some days during the month when I was down with tonsilitis and had to take antibiotics for 7 days. I have not been having my daily walks for some time as well because of the wind and sandstorm we've had here for some time. So, I think I would have lost a little more if not for these constraints. I hope to reach my goal weight of 150lb by the month of Ramadaan insha Allah. 

My kids are on their mid semester break and we had some guests from another town visiting for 5 days. It was so much fun to have an adult female  company in the same house for 5 days. We cooked and cleaned together and went places together. When it was time for bthem to leave, they were so reluctant to pack and we also wished they could stay around for a few more days. We were all thankful for the opportunity and look forward to having more of it insha Allah.

I am generally taking life easy and not putting pressure on myself, my hb or the kids about anything dunya as much as possible. No more dwelling on what  I need or want or what I dont have or wish others to do for/to me or not. I thought I was traumatised enough about Tahera's death until my friend who came here for a visit told me about a sister I know back home, a married mother of 2 who was run down by a car and ended up with spinal chord injury. She is now confined to a wheelchair and lost the ability to control her bladder and bowels. She cannot feel anything from the armpit down to her feet and needs to be taken care of by others 24/7. Needs to be cleaned and given a shower and had to beg some family members to take her little kids in because she can't take care of them herself. Her brother who is a doctor rented an apartmet for her and got her a maid who he pays for and he is the one who pays for most of her expenses   including adult diapers which are quite expensive over there. I mean this sister does not know she has defecated until she perceives the smell and then she calls someone to come help clean and change her just like a baby. The sister who told me is a doctor and she said the loss of continence due to spinal injury is an irreversible thing so she would remain like that for the rest of her life. I don't think she is even thirty years old yet! Everyone tries as much as possible to avoid spending time with her including her husband and her mum. They go to visit her but could not make themselves to as much as pass the night with her. She has cried so much at her misfortune until her tears dried up and could no longer cry. And I thought I had issues, subhanAllah. I now realize there are some situations which are more difficult to handle than death and if not for Islam she would probably have taken her life by now. I was a complete mess by the time I finished listening to the sister and even wished she had not told me. I pray Allah strengthens the sister's heart and protect her from saying things or asking questions that may count as blasphemy because it would be difficult not to wonder "why me" in her situation. I pray Allah gives her loads of sabr in her affliction and reward each and every pain and discomfort she is having, whether physical or emotional with the ultimate reward; Jannah.

The line between life and death is thin...

So I have had a lot of random thoughts in my head after I heard about the death of Tahera. Firstly, Tahera is (I somehow can't bring myself to type was) a pious muslimah who I met around 2 years ago  in the afternoon quran school for women and children. She was new in town because her family had just moved here from Pakistan few months before that time. She was in the process of enrolling her kids in the American school here because her children could not speak arabic. Few months later, we met at the shopping mall and I asked her about her children's school, how they are coping in the American school, to my surprise, she told me she has pulled her kids out of the school because it does not meet the moral standards she wanted for her kids. She later took them to the Pakistani school only to pull them out after some months again for the same reasons as the american school. To solve the problem, Tahera brought the kids with her to the tafeez school I go in the morning after I stopped the afternoon classes at which we met. Most of her friends questioned her about her decision to pull  her kids out of school and take them with her to a quran school, but she calmly explained that that was her best option for now. She sends the kids, a 6th grader and a 3rd grader to her friend who does home tutoring as a business in the afternoon to be able to keep up with what they ought to learn in a regular school. This, to me, shows a level of piety not commonly found among people in this age where most of us will compromise a little deen and morality here and there for our kids to be able to get a good education. I also remember one day Tahera and another sister were having a discussion and the sister was recommending a particular TV station programme and she (Tahera) replied that her children do not watch TV because they don't have one in their home because of the ills of TV. The other sister who happens to be an Arab was shocked to even hear that there is anyone who does not have a TV set. These are some of what I can remember about Tahera. She also wears full hijab with hand gloves which is not common here. Most people wear the niqab but don't cover their hands. So when I heard that she died on the spot when the accident happened, I was really humbled and at the same time mortified about the worthlessness of the life of this world. Within a few seconds, someone's situation may change such that they would be so helpless about issues they would have thought inappropriate under normal circumstances. I mean In saudi Arabia men and women don't mix or talk. So men deal with men and women deal with women. I was just sitting here wondering how Tahera's husband must have felt when some accident emergency officials were taking his wife's lifeless body away from the accident spot and he just could not do a thing about it. Men who would not even have been able to exchange salaams with her few minutes before the accident. I am not a man but I think that must be a really hard pill to swallow for any muslim man. He and the kids were taken in a car to the nearest hospital while his wife was taken in another by men he did not know to a destination he does not know in makkah and he was unable to stop them. I really can't imagine how that must have felt. He later told friends who went to meet him at the hospital that his wife did not want to come back home after the umrah in makkah. She said she wanted to remain there. But they had to come back so that he could resume work on saturday. Even while at makkah, she did not want to return to the hotel they were staying. She insisted on sitting at the haram all night. Maa sha Allah that was somehow comforting for all of us. she spent her last hours in worship and remembrance of Allah. She had it in her will to be buried in makkah among the faithfuls. She was buried there yesterday after a janazah prayer at the haram after salaatul isha' maa sha Allah. May Allah forgive Tahera and all dead muslims.

I just lost a friend

I was down with a really bad sore throat this afternoon. I took some lemon and honey tea to alleviate it but it did not get better. I later started shivering and then my head started hurting. I was a little scared. I decided to go to my favourite home remedy site, earth clinic and found out that the most popular remedy for sore throat is cayene pepper. I tried gargling a little  but it was just too hot for me to keep it in my mouth for long. I decided to take a nap hoping to get better by maghrib. I was cold so I covered myself all up with a woolen blanket and told my eldest child to make sure no one disturbs me. As I was trying to sleep, I started thinking about death. I thought what if I sleep and do not wake up? My mind was occupied with all sorts of thought; how would the kids cope without me? how would the hb take care of them without me? how would he break the news to my family? Most importantly, I thought of what will become of me if I die. Am I serving my creator as I should? what is the assurance that my past sins have been forgiven? All these and other such thought were going on in my head. I finally drifted to sleep and was feeling a bit better when I woke up. I managed to pray salaatul magrib and waited for isha which I had to pray sitting. I made a cup of hot lemon  tea with honey and cayenne pepper and got back into bed trying to sleep again.
  Then the phone rang, it was my friend F, she asked why I sounded funny and I told her in my barely audible voice that I was sick. She said ok then, she would let me rest and we talk tommorrow. 15 minutes later, she called back, saying something happened and she felt she needed to tell me, now!. I knew it had to be important for her to call back after saying goodnight.  She said I should try to be firm about what she was about to tell me. Her hb just informed her that one of our pakistani friends died in an accident this evening on their way home from Makkah. The sister attends the same tahfeez school I go and I still saw her on tuesday. I was too shocked to talk. I mean I was just thinking of death few hours ago and now I was told my friend is dead. She wanted me to confirm from a friend who is a doctor in the hospital her hb and children were taken to. I made the call with shaky hands and the sister confirmed that it is indeed true. Her body had been taken to makkah while the husband and three kids were taken to khlais hospital for treatment. I really hope the kids are ok insha Allah. F and I decided to wait till tomorrow before calling the tafeez teacher as it is a liitle late now for such news. Inna lillah wa inna ilaihi raajohoon. May Allah forgive Tahera and accept her as one of the faithfuls and grant her Jannah. May Allah comfort her husband and children in this trying time, aamin. May Allah help us all to become better muslims and not test us with what is more than we can bear, aamin.

Diet helped me get rid of tinnitus

I have stopped using the Grape seed extract for several weeks. In fact, I only used it for for a few days, not up to 2 weeks in all. During the first few days after I stopped, I noticed I still had the ringing sometimes during the day, maybe like 10% of the time, but it was not as loud as it had always been, and it was such that I could easily ignore it, without having to mask it with the AC unit and I was always able to sleep at night without any background noise. When you have a condition that is said to have no cure, and you are trying to wrap your head round the thought of having to live with it for the rest of your life, a partial relief from the ailment no matter how little would feel like the best thing in the world. I was however not as excited as I should have been back then because I always had this nagging fear at the back of my mind that the ringing could return with full force any time, and I would be back to where I have to have a fan or AC on whenever I am in a room, no matter the weather condition. I dreaded the thought, but there was nothing I could do but pray. 

Sometime along the line, I stumbled upon the fast five diet while searching for the reviews of the warrior diet on Amazon. The warrior diet is one good diet that can be easily adopted by those who don't have the will power to try the fast 5 diet. WD allows you to eat a light BF and lunch made of fruit and veggies and then you can have a sumptous dinner. The basis of the WD is also shifting between periods of under eating and overeating. Many people have used it successfully but I found the fast five somehow easier than the WD because while fasting, it is much easier for me not to think of food. Well, it just occurred to me few days ago that the period my tinnitus stopped completely, coincides with the time I started the fast 5 diet. I have read on earthclinic some people who claimed that eating a neanderthal diet in which they only ate whole unrefined foods, the type that would have been available to the cave man during that time, cured their tinnitus but I could not bring myself to eat in that strict manner. Now that I am on the fast 5, I eat 1 main meal daily which is almost always the same dish and I snack on some nuts, or a cup of youghurt and then have a fruit before dinner time and thats it. I have not eaten rice,  bread or any junk food for many days now. The best part is that I did not even miss it. The fact that I can eat whatever I want during the 5 hour eating window makes this diet easier for me than atkins, though I would have probably lost more than this on atkins.

Anyway, I  think I will stick to the fast 5 lifestyle even after I have reached my goal weight so that hopefully, I can continue to live tinnitus free.

I lost 6 pounds in 1 month!!!

I started this not so popular diet 1 month ago, 24th of  January. I am 6 pounds lighter today. The diet is called The fast 5 diet and the fast 5 lifestyle. I have tried different types of diet but this is the easiest for me. The basic rule of the diet is to eat during 5 consecutive hours during 24 hours and to fast for the remaining 19 hours. You are allowed to drink water, unsweetened tea without milk or cream or any other zero calorie drink, Even diet soda is allowed but I avoid drinking this because I know aspartame, the most used sweetener in diet soda is said to be bad. You are allowed to eat whatever you want during the 5 hour eating window but it is recommended that you eat healthy for best results. The recommended timing for the fast 5 diet is eating between 5.p.m. and 10p.m. I shifted the timing for my convenience such that I eat between 1.p.m and 6p.m daily and spend the remaining time fasting. The expected average weight loss on this diet is 1 pound per week, which means 52 pounds in a year. The diet can be found in a book written by Bert W. Herring MD. Its sold on amazon for a price of 10 dollars but he gives the e-book for free if you go to the official website of dr. Herring. Just google fast 5 diet. 

My starting weight was 193.5 pounds.

Current weight 187.4 pounds.

Aadab(ettiquetes) of conversation

ADAAB OF CONVERSATION



ALWAYS speak the TRUTH. Never hesitate in speaking the truth even at the greatest risk.

Speak only when you must, and always talk with a PURPOSE. Too much talk and useless conversation betrays a lack of seriousness. Your are accountable before Allaah for every word you utter. The Angel of Allaah records. "A supervisor remains vigilant to preserve on record every speech that is uttered by his tongue."

Always speak POLITELY.

Wear a smile on your face and a sweet tone in your speech.

Always speak in a moderate voice. Do not keep your voice so low as to be inaudible to the addressee, nor raise it so loud that the addressee might be over-awed by your voice. Allaah affirms: "Surely! the harshest of all the voices is the voice of the ***." [31 : 19]

Do NOT spoil your tongue with dirty talk. Do NOT speak ill of others. Never indulge in backbiting. Do not complain against others. Never indulge in mimicking others to ridicule them.

Do not make false promises.

Never laugh at others, nor boast of your own superiority or indulge in self praise.

Never get unreasonable and rash in conversation. Do not pass remarks by a disgraceful name.

Avoid swearing frequently.

Always say what is JUST and FAIR regardless of any loss of yourself, your friend or relative. "And when you say something, speak what is just even if you are talking about your relative."

Be soft-spoken, REASONABLE and SYMPATHETIC in your conversation. Do not utter sharp, harsh and teasing remarks.

When women happen to talk with men, they should speak in a CLEAR, STRAIGHT, and rough manner. They ought not speak in delicate, sweet tone lest the listener should entertain any foul expectation.

If the impudent want to entangle you in dialogue or altercation offer them 'Salaam' POLITELY and LEAVE them. Those who indulge in loose talk and absurd conversation are the worst lot of the Ummah.

Keep in view the mental level and outlook of the man you are talking to so as to make him understand. If the addressee cannot hear or is unable to catch your meaning, repeat what you have said before without any resentment.

Always be BRIEF and to the point in your talk. It is unfair to prolong discussion without rhyme or reason.

When you wish to explain the tenets of Al-Islaam or want to speak on the teachings of Al-Islaam be simple and clear and speak in a passionate and HEART-WARMING style. To seek reputation through oratory, to try to impress people with flowery language, to seek popularity among people, to adopt a proud and haughty mein, or to deliver speeches only for the sake of fun and recreation --all these are the worst habits that corrupt the man to the core of his heart.

Never indulge in flattery, or ingratiate with anybody. Always mind your honour and respect and avoid anything below your dignity.

Do not interrupt and interfere in others' conversation without their permission, nor intercept others conversation in order to say something yourself. If, however, you must speak, do so with the permission of the other.

Speak slowly in a proper and DIGNIFIED manner. Do not speak in a hurried manner nor indulge in fun and jokes all the time as it degrades you in the eyes of others.

If somebody puts a question to you, listen CAREFULLY to him and make an answer after careful thought. It is simply foolish to answer the questions without due consideration. If the questions are being put to somebody else, do not be officious as to give answers yourself.

When someone is narrating something, do not say "we know already." Maybe he reveals something new and impresses you by his sincerity and piety.

When you talk to someone, give due regard to his age, status, and his relationship to you. Do not talk with your parents, teachers, and elders in a manner in which you would talk with your friends. Likewise, when you are talking to youngsters, speak with affection and elderly dignity.

While engaged in conversation, do not point out towards any one lest he should conceive any misunderstanding or suspicion. Abstain from eavesdropping on others.

Listen more and talk less. Do not reveal your secrets to others. Once you disclose a secret to someone, never expect it to remain a secret any more.

http://www.allaahuakbar.net/important_i ... sation.htm

Losing weight is now a must

I have been overweight for many years now. It started after I had my first child, around 8 years ago. I was at what is known as a healthy weight before I got married. I have never had to do anything about my weight, until that time. I ate whatever I wanted including junk food, sweets, chocolates, anything. I have never thought of exercising. I was active because I was in school and normal daily activities was just enough to keep me healthy. 

After marriage,  I moved to Saudi and got pregnant and sick. I could barely keep anything down. I lost weight in the first trimester and was really weak. I made it through the 9 months and was blessed with a healthy baby, maa sha Allah. But there was a problem. Being a food lover, I was pissed about the fact that I could not enjoy my meals for almost 9 months. My nausea and vomiting started very early, even before I realized I was pregnant. The nausea drugs given by the doctor did not work. I was told it usually subsides after the first semester but mine did not. It continued till the time of confinement. Needless to say, after delivery, I started eating like never before and I just assumed I would not gain weight due to overeating because I thought afterall, I used to eat a lot in the past and never gained weight. How wrong I was. I realized  I was getting out of shape and breastfeeding alone would not help me lose weight when my baby was around a year. I started taking steps towards healthy living and lost some pounds in a few weeks. But before I could really get back into shape, I got pregnant with my second baby. I had 2 more babies after that. When I had my 4th, my first baby was 5 and a half years old. I now weigh 193 pounds. After my last child, I decided to get serious about losing weight because by that time, I was really concerned about the health implications of being fat as well as my desire to look good for my hb. I tired so many fad diets and always lose around 10 pounds and regain it off and on. I have a problem staying on a particular diet for long time so understandably, I did not succeed while on any of them. The last I tried was Atkins but I stopped because firstly, I read something about a risk to the kidneys and then it was not so much  fun eating so many eggs, chicken, meat and veggies. I also learnt it is not safe to be in ketosis while pregnant and my system is such that I sometimes get pregnant without knowing, so I did not want to take chances. 

  I wrote in my last post about taking Grape seed extract for melasma and then being pleasantly surprised that my tinnitus stopped. I was puzzled about what could be the relationship between the supplement and tinnitus and decided to do a little research. I have good reasons to suspect that I have pulsatile tinnitus which has nothing to do with the ear but the blood vessels. I found this

"Pulsatile tinnitus is the type of ear noise that is perceived as a rhythmic pulsing that is often in time with the heartbeat. It can be experienced as a thumping or whooshing sound. It is sometimes referred to as vascular tinnitus because in the majority of cases, it is related to disturbances in the blood flow. About 3% of tinnitus patients experience this type of tinnitus. 

Pulsatile tinnitus usually originates within the blood vessels inside the head or neck region when disturbed blood flow occurs. This results from either increased blood flow or a narrowing of the opening of the blood vessel, both of which result in turbulent blood flow that can be heard in the ear."

I feel this explains why taking GSE for just 2 days could relieve my tinnitus. GSE is known to help blood circulation. This also explains why I had low blood pressure.  It was stated in the site, (www.tinnutusformula.com) I found this from that there could be an underlying cause and in rare cases, it could lead to a stroke. I made further search and found that pulsatile tinnitus is more common in young women who are overweight and that losing weight most of the time is enough to take the problem away, completely. I will make an appointment with the ENT again and this time around, I will insist he carries out the necessary tests and discuss with him what I have found out about my tinnitus to be able to help him in helping me. The problem with tinnitus is being able to find out the cause so as to know how to treat it. Now that I believe I have an Idea about the cause, it should be easy for the doctor to understand what the overall problem is and what to do about it. But before I see the doctor, I have made up my mind to have a turnaround today and start eating right and living healthy.

Saying bye to tinnitus

Hello dear blog. Here I am again writing after a period of break. I had been busy with school and kids so I could not write most of what I needed to. 

Well, I have never mentioned on this blog that I have tinnitus; an annoying ringing of the ears which is only best understood by anyone who has had it. It started 5 years ago, when I was pregnant with my 3rd baby. I did not know what it was and did not do anything about it for some months. Then I thought of making a search on the net only to find out there is a name for it and that many people suffer from the condition. The worst news is that it is said to not have a cure and that poeple just have to learn to live with it. I went to some home remedy sites and found some suggested remedies which did not work. I made an appointment with an ENT even though most people say ENTs have no clue about how to treat it. Well, the look on the doctor's face was very depressing as he gave me some drugs to take for 2 months and then return to him. It was as if he knew the drug is not likely to help. It happened that I was nursing my baby at that time and he was just 4 months old so i decided to search online as I always do before taking any medication. It was said that the drug is not safe while nursing or pregnant. I went back to the doctor days later and he assured me that there is no problem and that I can take it. I searched again  and some people said the med- called Vastarel can actually cause ear ringing. Knowing how debilitating the tinnitus can be, I was afraid that taking the drug while nursing has a risk of my baby developing tinnitus in future, and I do not even wish this ringing on an enemy, I decided not to take chances, so I did not take the medicine. I kept trying to cope with it. I tried masking the noise with the AC or the kitchen exhaust fan. Most of the time don't remember I have tinnitus as long as there is an AC or a fan on but the problem starts when I go to other people's houses and they don't want the AC on because their kids have a cold. I have to block my left hear with my palm just to stop hearing the noise. At times my ear hurts and I just try to live with it.

Recently, I found out that the reason a small scar on my body gets darker each time I try to lighten it is because I have melasma. I went to see a dermatologist who gave me some bleaching creams that contain 4% hydroquinone. I used it for some weeks and did not notice a difference. I used some other rermedies like castor oil, baking soda, shea butter but the scar did not lighten. Later a friend gave me a cream that worked to lighten the spot. I was happy to have found something that works at last. I use sunscreen on it so that it does not darken again but to my surprise it became even darker than it was before the cream in only a week. So I resolved to never use anything on it again. I went to my dear site www.earthclinic.com for advice. Most people there who have had success with getting rid of their melasma said they treated it from the inside. I decided to go that route. The 2 most recommended supplemnts were Grape seed extract and grapefruit seed extract. I could not find the latter where I live so I decided to give Grape seed extract a shot to see if it would work. I bought a bottle from GNC and started taking 500mg a day just 3 days ago. And the first thing I noticed is that my ear ringing stopped!!!. Anyone who has never had tinnitus would not know what it means to be able to sit in a quiet room without hearing some ringing sound from inside your own head. Yesterday was the first time I slept throughout the night without the help of noise from an AC or a fan. I really could not believe it. I was trying to treat melasma with GSE but it took away my tinnitus. I really pray this lasts forever! I am doing more research on GSE to understand the correlation. I read on dr Lam's (www.drlam.com) site that it should be taken for 12 weeks to treat some other condition. I don't know if it can be taken long term, but if it is safe, I would be ready to take it for the rest of my life. Also, I would share my experience on as many websites as possible to help other tinnitus sufferers. It is disheartening to see how many people are being scammed by the numerous online books that claim to cure or treat tinnitus. I always search for the reviews by independent sites and always find that it is a scam. If you read about this and know anyone that has tinnitus, please advice them to try GSE, who knows, it may just be what they need to have silence in their heads again.