Low blood pressure , obesity and Anaemia

I made a post about my unexplained tiredness after eating sometime ago which I later found out it was due to low blood pressure. As I mentioned in that post, the doctor said its not a disease, just a condition and I just need to make some adjustment to my eating and other regimen to be okay.
   I  decided I would try to lose weight and see if my condition would improve. I have gained about 20kg in 9 years, between the time I was pregnant with my first child and now. I have tried different approach in the past without success. I have a problem staying on a particular diet programme for a long time. I start getting impatient if I don't see results within days...
    Around 3 months ago, I decided to try the popular low carb diet; Atkins. I lost 10 pounds before the end of the 2 week induction. I felt so happy because I had never lost 10 pounds in such a short period of time in the past. I however had to stop after 3 weeks for health reasons. I have been told I had low haemoglobin few months back and was taking Iron supplements. One of the rules of Atkins is not to take any iron supplements, not even the ones added to multivitamin pills. So I figured if my low blood pressure was (partly) due to my being anaemic, staying on a diet that forbids me from taking my iron supplements may make my low B.P. worse. Well, I started eating carbs again after 23 days of clean low carb eating, and of course, my weight crept up again. I went back to the doctor and got another prescription of Iron supplement and started taking it again. For the low blood pressure, the only thing that has worked is drinking a glass of water before my first meal  and if i have not eaten for many hours during the day,  I also drink water before eating. I may try Atkins again in future when I am no longer Anaemic. But for now, I have to find an alternative way of losing weight.

Ola, my love.

Today is 13th dhul-hijjah in the hijri calendar. And it is a day my son has waited to come for weeks. He has asked me like countless times what day it was and how many days left before it would be 13th dhul-hijjah. This is because he knew on this day, he would be a whopping 6 year old and he thought that would make him a really big boy and he would be able to tell his friends that he is no longer 5, 5 and a half but 6, maa sha Allah.  The day however, holds very deeper memories for me and always have me holding back the tears, tears of joy and thankfulness each and every time I remember that day...                                                            I was pregnant with my second child, and we just had our eid party 2 days before. I had my first baby exactly 1week before my EDD and was already getting impatient when the second one was still chilling out in my womb a day before the EDD and I was all big and swollen. So when I woke up on the 12th dhul-hihhah of that year, with labour pains, I was really excited I was going to see the lil man in a few hours at last. This is because my first baby was born after about 8 hours of labour. So, with my previous experience, I knew it may take a few hours after the onset of labour before the baby would be born and did not want to be at the hospital for too long, I decided to spend some time cleaning my house and even took a walk before asking my Hb to take me to the hospital. We got there around noon and the pain was not yet bad at that time. I was checked by a doctor who said I should go back home because I was just 2 cm dilated and there was no point putting me on admission. I was reluctant to go back home because the hospital we chose was a 30 minute drive from where we lived then but I had to go. I spend the next few hours walking and taking a break when the contractions start, hoping this will help shorten he length of the labour. Around 10 in the evening, I felt the contractions were lasting longer and were fewer apart and I was getting weak because I could not make myself eat or drink anything, so I told The man to take mt back to the hospital. He did not think it was time yet and said we should wait a while longer because he did not want to have to take me back home a second time. Well, I insisted I had to go because I was really in pain and when he saw how serious I was, he picked up my 2 yr old and off we went to the hospital. By the time e got there, I could barely walk and I was so sure I would soon have my baby, but I was so wrong. I got checked again and was told I was still 2cm dilated and I have to go back home. I refused. I told the doctor I had a baby before and there has to be an explanation for this pain I was having and why would I not dilate more for many hours despite having close contraction that were painful. So, the doctor called on another doctor who is more experienced thnt her who examined me and found out there was a problem. I was quickly sent upstairs to the delivery room and it was on the way there that I heard a nurse telling another that I had abruptio placenta. They probably assumed I would not know what it meant. Thankfully, I am one who reads a lot and had read almost every book around about prregnancies and the complications that could occur before or during confinement that I was really scared when I heard that from the nurse. I started crying. The thought of losing my son after 9 months of difficulty; nausea, throwing up, heartburns to mention a few was just unbearable. I was making all the dua I know, beggeing Allah to save my baby. I was strapped to the fetal heart monitor and was given the oxygen mask and a nurse was left with me to monitor the baby and to call on the doctor in case she notice the baby was in distress so that I could be taken to the theatre for CS and all the while I was just weeping and praying and the fear of losing my baby masked all the pain such that I could not even remember labour pain any more. All I could think of was having a life, healthy baby. I was there for some hours and the labour did not progress until the doctor decided to break the water sac at around 3.00a.m. All that while, I could not even get in touch with my Hb who was sent home around midnight and was made to take my phone because I was not supposed to have any phone, money, jewelry or any other valuable with me...                                                                                                                           I eventually had the baby at 7.15 a.m, 26 hours after the onset of labour and I was so happy to hear his screams and found out he was perfectly ok, maa sha Allah tabaarakAllah and when I held him, I was filled with awe. The thought that just a small mistake could have made all the difference and the story would have had another end? Suppose I had agreed to return home when the young doctor checked me the second time, would I have had this cute 6 year old first grader today? I have a cold shiver just thinking of all the mums that have lost their babies because of a simple slip by the doctor, the nurse or even the mother herself. I really really thank my Lord for turning my tears into laughter and for blessing me with even more healthy loving kids after my dear sweet Ola was born six years ago. This is Ola's birth story. I would make out time to write the others' some day, as they all enjoy listening to their birth stories.

Divorce For No Reason?

Marriage is sacred and its not something to play with. I know if any normal moderately reasonable person were asked if its okay to divorce a spouse without any reason at all, their first reaction would be of course not! But hey, I have been on a site before where a brother was trying to prove to everyone else that requiring a valid reason for a divorce applies only to women and that a man could divorce a good, pious, beautiful, obedient wife for no other reason than he just wants to do so, and there would be no sin on him, and his evidence was that a sahabah did the same. Well, I was somehow disturbed that a supposedly pious muslim brother could be peddling that view on a public forum and I tried to reason with him that even the prophet SAW did not divorce any of his wives and he told men in his farewell pilgrimage speech to fear Allah and be good to women etc, but he insisted that there is no evidence that a man needs a reason at all to divorce a wife no matter how good she is. I came across this fatwa from a reputable scholar and posted it on the site for him to see and more importantly so that other muslim men without knowledge would not be misled by his "view". I decided to share it here too because how much i hate divorce...

Divorce For No Reason?
Author: Al ‘Allaamah Shaikh Zayd ibn Muhammad al-Madkhalee (hafithahullah)

Translator: Abu Fouzaan Qaasim
❁❁❁
Q: Does the husband incur sin if he divorces his wife for no reason?
A: The reason behind him divorcing her must be looked into. If he has a valid
excuse for why he divorced her, then there is no problem (in him doing so).
However, if he mistreated her and divorced her for no reason whatsoever, she doesn't
have any (outstanding) flaws in her manners or physical makeup or any offense
transpired on her behalf, then there is no doubt that he sins. This is because he
treated her wrongly and perhaps she has no family hence becoming a victim of
poverty and destitution. So it is upon the men to fear Allaah.
The marital life of the believing men and women is connected (i.e. between them in
this worldly life and the next). The wife of a slave in this world will be his wife in
Paradise in the highest degree of beauty and perfection, superior to the hoorul- 'eeyn
due to her prayers, fasting and belief in Allaah.
So it is upon the Muslim to be very diligent (upon holding onto his wife) if Allaah
facilitates for him a woman from amongst the people of Tawheed, prayer and fasting.

__________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________2
And if certain things occur from her of crookedness or mistakes, then he corrects
them to the best of his ability. (And know!) that there isn't any person except that they
have faults and are prone to make mistakes. However sticking to and applying
patience is (from) the mannerisms of the Mu'mineen..... na'am.
Q: What about the statement of The Most High:




“But if you intend to replace a wife with another...” [4:20]?
A: Na'am, if he wants to, however, because of a reason. It isn't intended for the
man to change (i.e. divorce) his wife who he has taken care of and lived with for
sometime except because of a reason that forces him to divorce (her). (If this is the
case) then there is nothing wrong with letting her go.
❁❁

POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

3. Don't over do; keep your limits

4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does

5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip

6. Dream more while you are awake

7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..

8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind (your partner) others of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present

11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you

12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like
algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

13. Smile and laugh more

14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

15. Call your family often

16. Each day give something good to others

17. Forgive everyone for everything

18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6

19. Try to make at least three people smile each day

20. What other people think of you is none of your business

21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will Stay in touch.

Life:

*****As Muslims we say Allaah


22. Put (GOD) Allaah first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.

23. GOD heals everything

24. Do the right things

25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change

26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up

27. The best is yet to come

28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful

29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it

30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.



ENJOY LIFE WHILE YOU ARE ALIVE ........

**article written by an unknown author**

SECRET CODE; MY REASON

I made a post about not expecting any good from a husband to avoid/minimize being hurt. I know that some men would read that statement and think its BS, and maybe some women who are blessed with good husbands would wonder why anyone would even say this, but here is what led to that line of thought...

Madam A was happily married for 40 years.

The marriage was blessed with 6 kids, all grown and married.

Madam A's husband decided to marry young girl, the age of his last child.

Madam A was not happy about it because she did not expect it to happen at that time since they were both in their sixties and did not have any problems, but she is a Muslim and she knows its his right so she accepted it and life went on.

Madam A's husband and the second wife were living in another town not very far from madam A, but she still gets to see her husband every now and then.

One day (after 5 years) Madam A's husband shows up at madam A's house with his little kids he had with the second wife and announced to madam A that he had divorced the second wife and that she (madam A) would have to help him raise the kids.

Again, madam A was not happy to raise another woman's kids especially at that stage of her life when she just wanted to relax and enjoy her retirement, visiting her kids and grand-kids when she wants, but she accepted nonetheless, not wanting to disobey her husband.

And, guess what? I mean guess what?! Few weeks later, she found out that her husband did not divorce his second wife and that they were still living together in the same house as husband and wife, only without their little kids who were brought for her to raise under the guise of their mum being divorced. Now isn't that just so convenient? gotta love these husbands...

Well, madam A and her kids had had enough! they figured out their dad did that because it was his house, so he felt he had a right to leave his kids there and he can have a peaceful life with his second wife without being disturbed by the lil ones. So one of madam A's sons moved his mum into his house to live with him, so that their good dad could have his dear little house all to himself and he can move whoever he wants into it...

Explanation of Imaam an-Nawawi’s Forty Hadeeth

Explanation of Imaam an-Nawawi’s Forty Hadeeth

The secret code to a happy marriage

I came up with a simple fix for marital problems after I heard what happened to a woman who is dear to me. The secret code is; DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING GOOD FROM YOUR HUSBAND. ok, I know this just sounds soo ridiculous but I remembered the words written in a birthday card someone gave my sister many years ago. It read;

blessed are those who do not expect a gift on their birthday,

for they will not be disappointed...

You are not my child

Hello blog world. Someone left me a comment suggesting that I should advice my dad about being fair since some men are known to have a soft spot for their daughters.
Such a great advice, but it reminded me of an incident that happened in my life when I was I think close to 11. My dad left my mum and my siblings when I was 10 to go and live in our hometown when he got a better job. My dad's second wife at that time was already living alone with her children in the family house in our hometown. So what happened was he more or less left us to be with her. He did not divorce my mum or anything. He even suggested she (we all) move together but my mum declined. Reason was, my mum was working and she uses some of her money for household expenses and she thought leaving her job (which was not a high income job) to go live in the family house with her co-wife and be at the mercy of my dad, who is known to be very stingy with his money would be unbearable. So we started living alone with my mum, and dad visits us like once a month or 2 months. Whenever he comes, he gives mum some money for food and money to pay our school fees.

Within a few months, he started visiting less frequently and things were a little hard because my mum was a junior worker and it was difficult for her to do everything with her meagre salary. We then moved from our 3 bedroom flat to a one bedroom flat because my mum ould no longer afford to pay rent for the bigger house. We could barely feed in the house and my mum sometimes needs to borrow some money from her friends to buy groceries and she pays back at the end of the month. When it got to a stage whereby we were sent away from school beause we could not pay school fees and she could not afford it, she decided it was time to go to my hometown to vivsit my dad and get the monthly money he gives for feeding and that of our school fees. Just before she left the house, I gave her a letter to give my dad and she took it from me without bothering about what was written in it because as she said later, she just assumed its a short note to say salaams and tell him we miss him and other whatnot because my dad and I had a great relationship and they all call me daddy's girl.

She returned after 2 days and we were able to go back to school and life went on as usual. Shortly after that, maybe 2 weeks later or so, my dad came to visit and I noticed he was cold towards me but I did not make anything of if. One day, before he returned to his base, my mum was snooping around in his bag and there she saw a letter written by me in which I talked about the difficulty we were going through in the house, how we could not even eat easily and how we had to be sent away from school for not paying school fees. Then I ended it with "you should not have married another wife" or something worded along that line. Then she saw something that broke her heart; below my letter was my dad's reply to me and it read: definitely mena, you are not my child, You are a bastard. He wrote some other things that I can't remember now but the first sentence has been in my memory since then. I know what I wrote in my letter questioning why he married a second wife was harsh. But what does one expect from an eleven year old girl who is going through difficulties along with her mum and siblings and who is totally helpless as there is nothing she can do about it?

So my mum took out the letter and called me to her presence. She said she would not have delivered the letter to my dad if she knew that was what I wrote in there. She was so scared and disturbed and she scared me too. There I had just been disowned for daring to question my dad's reason for marrying a second wife and making all our lives difficult. My mum later calmed down and went to a friend of hers for advice and that friend told her to destroy the letter and never mention it. I think my dad planned to give me the letter but when it mysteriously disappeared from his briefcase, he did not bother to mention it again and he left after some days...

In polygyny, at least one person would be miserable

I just got off the phone calling my parents and siblings at home to wish them eid mubarak because I could not do it yesterday. So I called my mum first and she was very happy to hear from me and she told me she had a really nice and memorable eid, maa sha Allah. At home with her is my sister, her(my mum's) first child along with her husband and their children, They drove for 3 hours from their town to be able to visit her and celebrate eid with her. She also told me that my uncle and his new wife (he was divorced) was with her. Then she had my other neices and nephew who also went to celebrate with her on eid day and returned to their house in the evening since they live in the same town. So, maa sha Allah, she had so many loved ones around her and I did not ask about my dad, because I did not want to throw her in a bad mood because each eid day that I call and he was not there to celebrate with her, because he was with his other wife, she sounds so sad and depressed and complains (a little too much) about his absence. I just assumed she was okay this eid because she had so many loved ones around her that she did not miss her husband, my dad.

After her, I called my sisters, my brother and some friends, then I called my dad, a number of times. He did not pick his phone. I waited for some minutes and called again but he did not pick. I normally call him every eid day to say eid mubarak and have him make du'a for me and my kids. Since he did not pick my calls, I decided to call his wife with whom he lives in another town, to ask of him. After greeting her and asking about my step brothers and sisters, I told her I had been calling my Dad's phone for some time and he did not anwer, that can she please give him the phone? She was like no, he is not with her, he is with my mom, and he had been there since yesterday. So she had eid alone with her children. I said okay, I did not know, I thought he was with her because when I called my mum she did not tell me he was around. We had a brief talk about her children and their schooling and I hung up, feeling really sorry for her. I mean, on eid day every one wants to celebrate with their loved ones, and most women would want to be with their husband and they would want the kids, the dad everyone to eat together, as a family, but there she was, alone with her kids. Her husband was with his first wife, in another town.

So, basically, its either my dad spends eid with her, and my mom will be miserable and calling all her children to complain about it, (which I find annoying sometimes, because I think she needs to stop acting like they just got married when they have been married for 44 years.) or she goes down to celebrate with my mum and leave his second wife and her children to have eid by themselves. So whichever way, someone has got to be alone.

I know not all polygynous situations are like this as some men make their wives live together in the same house ( and I personally DO NOT like this) so that they don't have to go from one house to another, but it is not feasible in my parent's situation beause my dad was working in one town and my mum in another, and when they used to be together in the family house in my hometown for a few days for eid, they used to spend half the time quarreling about one thing or the other. So my dad had his second wife and their children living with him and goes to visit my mum every other week. Maybe if they were in the same town, it would be a little easier, then he can spend half the day in one house and the remaining half at the other. My dad is retired now, but it would still be very difficult to be equal in how he spends time with his wives, because of the distance, which is like an hour and my dad is getting close to seventy.

So I ended up feeling sorry for his second wife today and maybe the next eid, it would be my mom's turn to be alone.

And oh, I eventually got my dad on the phone, and I told him I had called his second wife when he did not pick his phone as I did not know he was with my mom when I called her earlier. He was quick to tell me that he was there with my mom, and I could tell that he was hoping I would be impressed by that...

Eid mubarak!

Eid cake for my friends cute little girl, Zainab.
Zainab's cake in the cake holder.
I made this for my Egyptian neighbour
This was for my children

For maryam, My friend 8 year old baby who completed the fast without complaining, maa sha Allah.
All the cakes in one place before distibution.

and we all had a nice eid. Alhamdulillah!

...of wishes and horses and beggars...

81 ways on how to treat your wife in Islam!

The wife’s rights (with regard to their husbands) are equal to the (husband’s) rights with regard to them, although men are a degree above them; and Allah is Almighty, Wise. [Quran 2:28]

“Consort with them graciously. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good. (4:20)“

In today’s life of hustle and bustle, the family unit is becoming fragile by the day. Divorces are on the rise, and Muslims can no longer claim, as justifiably as before, that divorce is rare among Muslims or even much less than incidents of divorce among non-Muslims.

Let’s take on the men, here’s how you can keep up your wife’s love:

1. Make her feel secure, don’t threaten her with divorce.
2. Give sincere Salaams.
3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.
4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.
5. Be generous with her.
6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.
7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.
8. Look good and smell great for your wife.
9. Don’t be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.
10. Be a good listener.
11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.
12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, names she loves to hear.
13. A pleasant surprise.
14. Preserve and guard the tongue.
15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.
16. Give sincere compliments.
17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.
18. Speak of the topic of her interest.
19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.
20. Give each other gifts.
21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.
22. Have a good opinion of each other.
23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don’t nitpick.
24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.
25. Expect and respect her jealously.
26. If you have more than one wife, be just and equal
27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.
28. Help at home, with housework.
29. Help her love your relatives, but don’t try to force her.
30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.
31. Remember your wife in Du’a.
32. Leave the past for Allah, don’t dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
33. Don’t act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.
34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.
35. Put food in your wife’s mouth.
36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect.
37. Show her your smile.
38. Don’t ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.
39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.
40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.
41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.
42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.
43. Help her take care of the children.
44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.
45. Sit down and eat meals together.
46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give her sufficient notice.
47. Don’t leave home in anger.
48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.
49. Encourage each other in worship.
50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.
51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.
52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don’t jump on her like a bull.
53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don’t take it outside.
54. Show care for her health and well-being.
55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.
56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.
57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.
58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.
59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.
60. Have a good intention for her.
61. Cook a dish for her.
62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you to pray at night whenever you can.
63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the gift you made for her.
64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.
65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.
66. Send your wife an email without a reason.
67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.
68. Do something for your wife’s family, whether it is a gift, or a chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will get you lots of brownie points.
69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.
70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people as gifts.
71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for ladies only get together and arrange for the dinner.
72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.
73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.
74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she’s been reading.
75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur’an or Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to her and take her word.
76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.
78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.
79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your new expertise.
80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.
81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like when she put too much salt or burnt her baking).

"OH ALLAH , Make useful for me what You taught me and teach me knowledge that will be useful to me" amen

by Fawad J Kiyani

Ok, I saw this nice write up and it made me laugh because most muslim men would not even bother to do half of the things on this list. I wish I can say this is how most muslim men treat their wives, but then, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride...

After the Fast...

I made it through the rest of the month without my mystery sickness and did worry so much about it anymore. I just decided it might be low blood sugar as a result of fasting and as long as eating eggs before commencing the fast fixed it, I thought I should just let it go, thinking it will be a thing of the past after the month.

I was wrong! Few weeks after the month of ramadaan, I notice that for some days, whenever I skip breakfast and even if I eat lunch as early as 12.p.m, I get tired like I used to in the month of ramadaan. I still thought it may be blood sugar problems as carbohydrate is always a major part in my meals. I went to the doctor and did all the blood sugar tests. I was so scared and worried for the 2 days I had to wait to get the result. It came out negative, alhamdulillah. The doctor said I did not have diabetes. I was relieved about that news, but was still worried about what ails me, that could not be diagnosed. I even convinced myself there must be a mistake somewhere; maybe they did not get the result right. I decided to start eating like someone who has diabetes, limited carbs, more protein, no more juice, etc as much as I could. I checked out a list of foods allowed for diabetics and shopped for the ones I know I will enjoy and started eating that, hoping for relief...

Well, I did not have any noticeable improvement. Some days, I was okay after eating and some days, I still get dog tired. I started getting depressed. I no longer look forward to mealtimes. And I used to be someone who loves food so much. I read on health forums and other random sites that the solution is to eat more!. To eat 5-7 small meals a day, to never be hungry. Who has time to prepare and eat 5-7 meals a day, especially as a mum of 4 young ones and the fact that I go to tahfeez school in the morning and homeschool my kids in the afternoon. It is easy to forget to eat except at meal times when everyone is eating. Anyways, I went back to my doctor and asked her to tell me what else could be making me tired after eating if I was not diabetic. I explained to her that I sometimes have the symptoms if I had not eaten for some hours too, even though when it stated, it was just after eating. That very day, I went in the morning right after leaving the tahfeez school. Just as the nurse called me in to the doctor's office, I started feeling tired again. So, the doctor asked the nurse to test my blood glucose again, the one they check by getting a drop of blood from the thumb after pricking it with a needle. The result was fine. so she said the nurse should check my BP, and there, I got the answer to what has been making my life uncomfortable for months. My Blood pressure was not normal, not high, but Low!. ya Rabb!. The tiredness was as a result of a sudden drop in blood pressure. I was scared, quickly asking the doctor so many questions about the seriousness of someone's blood pressure being low. She assured me that it is ok, she said it is not a disease, just a condition(yea right). It does not reqiure medication, just some lifestyle changes and healthy eating and living. She told me some things to do like eating salted crackers, salted peanuts, drinking salty water and generally adding more salt to whatever I eat. She also told me to lie down for a few seconds with some pillows under my feet so that more blood can flow to my head.

I was thankful to Allah for being able to find out what was wrong with me, and to know its not as bad as I had feared. I know that low BP could be dangerous too, especially if it falls too low, but the fact that I had feared the worse made the news more acceptable to me. Most of my friends have high BP and have to take meds daily. So being told I do not have dibetes or high BP or even some form of cancer but just low BP was a welcome relief to me. Sometimes, I still feel guilty that I must have brought it on myself by my yoyo dieting and most of the time, not eating well, because I was concerned about my weight. Another reason I suspect I got to have low blood pressure is because I was busy trying to be smart by half. I am very much into holistic medicine and being surrounded by loved ones who have high blood pressure including my mum, I felt the need to take measures to prevent myself from developing the disease. So I used to drink Apple cider vinegar which is known for its amazing ability to lower BP., even though it has a number of other health benefits. I did not stop there, I was adding less salt to my cooking and also stopped using food additives that has MSG, especially maggi cubes among other things. I was practically living like someone who has been diagnosed of high BP already. This is a big lesson to me and others. Even though prevention is said to be better than cure, one still needs to err on the side of caution so as not to invite one ailment while trying so hard to prevent another.

I have been mostly okay after I started following the doctor's instruction and I am indeed Thankful to Allah for everything and pray that I am not tested with that which I cannot bear.

What is in an egg?

It started a year ago, last ramadaan, when I came up with this great (not) idea of going on a reduced calorie diet during the month of ramadaan to be able to lose some weight. So I thought, since it is not compulsory to eat the suhoor (the pre-dawn meal) before commencing the fast, I will just wake up, give my kids and their dad something to eat and have a drink of water for suhoor. I figured if I don't get any calories during suhoor and then I make sure that at iftar I don't eat much, there is no way I would not shed some pounds before the completion of the 1 month fasting period.

A few days into the fast, I noticed that even though I am ok during the day, not hungry or tired, as soon as a break my fast, I start feeling tired and cranky. Not just mildly tiredness but really really get somehow lightheaded and feeling nauseous and overall body weakness and a sudden and strong need to lie down and rest and fall asleep. This is the closest I can describe it but sometimes I can't even find the right words to describe how I feel. I did not understand why this could be happening but did not even think it had anything to do with not eating suhoor. I was scared that it could be diabetes or reactive hypoglycemia. I made several searches on the net and everything pointed to blood glucose problems. I started avoiding carbs and anything that has carbs in it. Sometimes I am okay after eating and other times not. I was confused; if it was blood glucose problems I was having, why was I still feeling this way.

It happened that one day, I think because I was busy, I did not eat well at the time of breaking the fast, so I thought its better to eat suhoor so that I would not be weak during the day. I ate bread and fried eggs with the others. When it was time to break the fast, I ate the same dinner with them and then waited for the inevitable cranky feeling.

Then,

Nothing.

I was wondering why my unexplained tiredness did not happen to me that evening, thought maybe it will come later, but was pleasanltly surprised that I felt fine and energetic all evening. I went through how I spent the day in my head, did I rest more?, did I spend more time standing or sitting?, I was looking into even the silliest of things to see what I did different on that day, but could not think of any. Then I remembered! I ate suhoor and I had not done that for many days, so that has to be it. That night, I decided to eat suhoor again, hoping to be fine like the previous day, so I ate a sandwich, I think just jelly sandwich. At sunset, I ate normally and started feeling tired again. At this point, I was confused. I was disappointed. I thought I had diagnosed my ailment but was proven wrong. I called up my friend F. and told her what happened, my hypothesis and how my result did not add up. She was the one who figured out what happened. She said it has to be the eggs. She recalled that she had a friend back in the States who was having difficulty fasting after becoming a muslim. She was advised by a nutritionist to include eggs in her suhoor and when she tried it, she noticed that she could make through the day while fasting without getting hungry or tired. So for the rest of the month I made sure I eat eggs whenever I eat suhoor and I was able to complete the month of ramadaaan without my ridiculous after iftar mystery sickness.

So much for losing weight in ramadaan.
*to be contd.

Learn almost everything for free

I came across this awesome site where you can Learn almost anything for free. Science, maths, etc. Run by a guy named salman khan, who is passionate about passing knowledge across to others. I thought others might benefit as well. check it out;

www.khanacademy.org

The best month is here

The blessed month of Ramadaan,

The best among all months

In which is the best night among all nights;

The night of Qadr

when Allah Ta'ala blessed us with the Best of books;

The Qur'an Kareem;

A guidance for mankind

And clear proofs for the guidance and the criterion

How Great and Merciful is our Lord

For prescribing the fast for us

So that we may become Al-muttaqoon

And the reward is in multiples

"Whoever draws near to Allaah during it (Ramadaan)

with a single characteristic from the characteristics of (voluntary) goodness,

he is like whoever performs an obligatory act in other times.

And whoever performs an obligatory act during it,

he is like whoever performed seventy obligatory acts in other times."

Allah has honored us in Ramadan

by chaining up the devils,

opening the gates of Paradise,

closing the gates of Hell,

and multiplying the reward.

Fasting will intercede for a person

and protect him from Hell,

and admit him to Paradise

through the gate of al-Rayyan.

Allahu Akbar!!!

When divorce becomes obligatory...

My family went to visit a family friend of ours in another town 2 hours away few days ago. While there, the men had to drive to Jeddah, a 1 hr drive to get some things done and we were alone at home with the children. We cooked together and had a nice time. They returned after 3 hours and as soon as they got in the house, our host sent the maid to tell his wife that she needs to serve his food right away that he was very hungry. Wife said, "ok, just a minute", she just finished feeding her new baby and went to lay her on the bed, then as she was going to the kitchen, the maid came back and said he said if she did not bring the food quick enough, he would go and get a second wife to serve him, lol. Of course he was joking, but the sister did not find it funny. She sat down and told the maid to go tell him to go and get the second wife and after she (second wife) is done serving him, she should come and serve her too as she was also hungry. The maid, a 17 year old girl from same the same country as this amazing couple, went back to the man (from behind the closed door as the maid is always segregated from him or his male friends) and delivered the message. Then she came back to where we were sitting to tell her he said, "what? he would be getting a saudi as a second wife and saudis dont serve non-saudis." she said she does not care, if she is saudi or not and as the maid was going to tell him again, i stopped her and said enough of this back and forth joke. She said oh, its ok, she is used to him joking about it all the time, its just that she was not in a good mood on that day as she was exhausted (she has a 2 week old baby) otherwise she would just laugh it off and life goes on. she got up to serve them the food sayng if not for the fact that he has a guest, she would have left the food unserved for 1 hour to teach him a lesson. She does not mind the second wife jokes as long as it is not joked about when she is not in the mood for jokes. I was just sitting and laughing. I know many sisters would not even be able to accommodate the jokes at all. I mean why joke about something you are not ready for? The men had their dinner and we enjoyed the rest of the visit maa sha Allah.

Few days after we got back to our house, I told my hb that his wife's friend did not like the fact that he was joking about second wife when we were there, even though she said she usually doesn't care when he jokes about it at other times. I added it seems she just doesn't want him doing it around people. My hb said he agreed, that he also felt uncomfortable about the whole thing and he advised him against it as it was obvious the sister was upset looking at the way she was sending the maid back to give him a response. He said he he told the brother its not a good idea to tease women like that, even though she knows her hb may marry again one day, always joking about it, may provoke her to do some things she would regret later. my hb said the brother said he (my hb) was right. That there was a sad case of a young muslim couple, in our country who are known to be pious and happily married. One day, the brother joked about him marrying a second wife and the wife could not stomach it and she poisoned his food. This brother died over joking about something he does not even have any plan of doing? I was just speechless. A practicing muslim sister poisoned her husband for saying he wanted to remarry? What happened to asking for divorce? can't she just leave when she started having the evil thoughts of killing him? this was somebody's baby for crying out loud. How is she going to explain it to his parents? his friends, their kids if they have any? And finally how is she going to face Allah? she murdered an innocent man who she vowed to love and care for. I know she did it in a moment of rage and must be filled with regret and remorse after the act, but what will be the use after the poor brother is dead and buried? And to make the matter worse, he was just joking. The brothers who were close to him swore he was not planning anything of such. They were sure he was not planning to propose to anyone. Even though I believe its wrong for a man to torture his wife with jokes about him wanting to remarry for its better for them to go ahead and marry again than trying to make their wives jealous unnecessarily, but then, the sister took the matter waaaaaay too far. In my opinion, she should have just asked to be divorced if she knew she could not handle her husband marrying again. I believe in situations like this when a woman starts having whispers from the cursed shaytan about murder, she needs to ask for divorce as soon as possible. she should even tell her husband that this is why she needs the divorce, and if he knows what is good for him, he would not say no.
I pray Allah forgives the brother and give him jannah and may Allah forgive and guide the sister, aamin.

...if you ask about paradise

Ibn al-Qayyim said, in regards to the description of the Paradise and
the delights that it contains:

"And if you ask about its ground and its soil, then it is of musk and saffron.

And if you ask about its roof, then it is the Throne of the Most Merciful.

And if you ask about its rocks, then they are pearls and jewels.

And if you ask about its buildings, then they are made of bricks of
gold and silver.

And if you ask about its trees, then it does not contain a single tree
except that its trunk is made of gold and silver.

And if you ask about its fruits, then they are softer than butter and
sweeter than honey.

And if you ask about its leaves, then they are softer than the softest cloth.

And if you ask about its rivers, then there are rivers of milk who's
taste does not change, and rivers of wine that is delicious to those
who drink it, and rivers of honey that is pure, and rivers of water
that is fresh.

And if you ask about their food, then it is fruits from whatever they
will choose, and the meat of whatever birds they desire.

And if you ask about their drink, then it is Tasneem, ginger, and Kaafoor.

And if you ask about their drinking cups, then they are crystal-clear
and made of gold and silver.

And if you ask about its shade, then a fast rider would ride in the
shade of one of its trees for a hundred years and not escape it.

And if you ask about its vastness, then the lowest of its people would
have within his kingdom and walls and palaces and gardens the distance
that would be travelled in a thousand years.

And if you ask about its tents and encampments, then one tent is like
a concealed pearl that is sixty miles long.

And if you ask about its towers, then they are rooms above rooms in
buildings that have rivers running underneath them.

And if you ask about how far it reaches into the sky, then look at the
shining star that is visible, as well as those that are far in the
heavens that the eyesight cannot possibly reach.

And if you ask about the clothing of its inhabitants, then they are of
silk and gold.

And if you ask about its beds, then its blankets are of the finest
silk laid out in the highest of its levels.

And if you ask about the faces of its inhabitants and their beauty,
then they are like the image of the Moon.

And if you ask about their age, then they are young ones of 33 years
in the image of Adam, the father of humanity.

And if you ask about what they will be hearing, then it is the singing
of their wives from among the Hoor al-'Ayn, and better than that are
the voices of the Angels and the Prophets, and better than that is the
Speech of the Lord of the Worlds.

And if you ask about their servants, then they are young boys of
everlasting youth who resemble scattered pearls.

subhana Allah. what are we doing or not doing to get there?!!!

Nine years!

I am happy to note that I have been married for 9 good years today. Alhamdulilah.

So if I may make a list...

In nine years, I;

Got married

Moved to Saudi Arabia

Had 4 kids

Gained 20kg and 'helped' hb to gain 10

Made many new friends and parted with many

Became a homeschooling mum

Memorized 4 juz

Learnt to speak some Arabic

Performed hajj and umrah

Brought my dad and kid brother for umrah

Changed house 4 times

Bought a Singer sowing machine and started learning how to sow

So these are the things I can remember for now/ or thing I can mention. Some others I find inappropriate to mention.
Pls remember to say maa sha Allah.

yummy cookie recipe

Ingredients;

1 1/2 cup butter

1 cup sugar powder

1 egg

2 TBS milk

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 tsp vanilla flavour

4 cups all purpose flour

Mix butter and sugar until it becomes smooth.

Add the egg and milk and vanila flavour and mix all well.

mix in the flour and baking powder until a smooth paste is formed.

Scoop some into the cookie cutter and press unto a lightly oiled baking tray.

Line with foil paper if tray is not 'non stick'.

bake in a preheated oven for 10 minutes

my yummy cakes!

This cream and pink round shaped cake was made for my quran teacher as a gift for being the best teacher I've had in saudi. Her name is written on the cake, in arabic. She really loved it.
The heart shaped was made when my 4 year old insisted his teacher has to get a cake too...
My first basket-weave cake! made for my friend's neighbour who is a teacher in a girls school and she needed a cake to take for her aflah (party)
Eid cake (last year) for my darling kids, maa sha Allah
For my 5 year old's school party.

pictures of masjid haram