Mixed feelings.

I heard some news today that I did not expect and had mixed feelings about it. I was talking to a sister today lets call her R, and she asked me if its true that one of my neighbours is a second wife to which I affirmed. She said she heard that the first wife was here with the husband and was sent back to their country when he married the second wife and wanted to bring her over to Saudi. I was aware of the story as the first wife was my friend when she was here. So the sister was kind of shocked and asking me how the first wife took it and  is she ok with being sent away, (not divorced) and being replaced by a much younger woman, etc. I told the sister that as far as I know, the first wife is ok with the second marriage because polygyny is common where she came from although she did not want to go back home at that time but she did not really have a choice as it was the husband's decision to have her go back home so he could bring the new wife over. He travels to their country during the summer to see her and he sends money to her regularly. Anyways, this led to me asking how polygyny is seen in the country R came from and she said it is not common as most men marry just 1 wife. So I asked what if the wife dies would the husband remarry? she said yes of course, but while she is alive, he remains married to her only and this is their culture. Coincidentally, R and My friend who passed away recently are from the same country, so I couldn't help asking what is the average duration of time a man who lost his wife is normally expected to wait before he remarries (in their culture) and I gave Tahera's husband as an example.Then I got the bombshell; He will remarry in a month to Tahera's sister. He already spoke to her mum and they are in agreement with the proposal. So why did I have mixed feelings? I was happy on one hand that at least he would have someone to take care of the kids and a companion for himself to help lessen the grief of the sudden loss of his wife. On the other hand, I could not help wondering if my hubby would be trying to marry my sister 2 months after I pass away. Not that I have a sister that is not married but if I had, would he want to do that as well? I don't mean its a bad thing to do because at least marrying the sister of your late wife would be better for the kids than marrying a total stranger who did not know their mum and who is likely to maltreat them except she has the fear of Allah in her. But hey, most people don't walk around thinking if they die their spouse will marry their sister (or brother if its the husband that died).
So there I have another reason to be reminded about the nothingness of the life of this world and to strive to put forward as many good deeds as possible for my akhira. And I write this as a reminder for all of us.
If you die today, someone is is going to live in your house, someone else is going to wear your cloths, someone else is going to drive your car, someone else is going to marry your husband or your wife and it goes on and on. I am not writing this to put blame on Tahera's husband, he probably took this decision in the best interest of his kids. If he does not remarry, he can't take care of the kids alone because he has to go to work, The only other option would be sending the kids back home to be raised by family members which would not be fair to the kids to not live with their dad after losing their mum. May Allah give him and is new wife to be the best and may Allah help them both in raising the kids and giving them their best. aamin.

Plateau!!!

Since I wrote my last entry, my weight has stalled. So basically, I have stepped on my dear old scale every morning to see the same number + or minus2 pounds for the last 2 weeks. Still on the fast 5 and I can't figure out why I stopped losing. I may try to add low carb to the fast 5 to see if it will bring me down the plateau insha Allah. I am not really perturbed about this because I feel staying on a plateau is better than gaining all the weight back. I suspect not having the time to go for my evening walks contributed to my stall, anyhow, I'm not giving up. I will keep doing my fast 5 till I get there, insha Allah.