My family went to visit a family friend of ours in another town 2 hours away few days ago. While there, the men had to drive to Jeddah, a 1 hr drive to get some things done and we were alone at home with the children. We cooked together and had a nice time. They returned after 3 hours and as soon as they got in the house, our host sent the maid to tell his wife that she needs to serve his food right away that he was very hungry. Wife said, "ok, just a minute", she just finished feeding her new baby and went to lay her on the bed, then as she was going to the kitchen, the maid came back and said he said if she did not bring the food quick enough, he would go and get a second wife to serve him, lol. Of course he was joking, but the sister did not find it funny. She sat down and told the maid to go tell him to go and get the second wife and after she (second wife) is done serving him, she should come and serve her too as she was also hungry. The maid, a 17 year old girl from same the same country as this amazing couple, went back to the man (from behind the closed door as the maid is always segregated from him or his male friends) and delivered the message. Then she came back to where we were sitting to tell her he said, "what? he would be getting a saudi as a second wife and saudis dont serve non-saudis." she said she does not care, if she is saudi or not and as the maid was going to tell him again, i stopped her and said enough of this back and forth joke. She said oh, its ok, she is used to him joking about it all the time, its just that she was not in a good mood on that day as she was exhausted (she has a 2 week old baby) otherwise she would just laugh it off and life goes on. she got up to serve them the food sayng if not for the fact that he has a guest, she would have left the food unserved for 1 hour to teach him a lesson. She does not mind the second wife jokes as long as it is not joked about when she is not in the mood for jokes. I was just sitting and laughing. I know many sisters would not even be able to accommodate the jokes at all. I mean why joke about something you are not ready for? The men had their dinner and we enjoyed the rest of the visit maa sha Allah.
Few days after we got back to our house, I told my hb that his wife's friend did not like the fact that he was joking about second wife when we were there, even though she said she usually doesn't care when he jokes about it at other times. I added it seems she just doesn't want him doing it around people. My hb said he agreed, that he also felt uncomfortable about the whole thing and he advised him against it as it was obvious the sister was upset looking at the way she was sending the maid back to give him a response. He said he he told the brother its not a good idea to tease women like that, even though she knows her hb may marry again one day, always joking about it, may provoke her to do some things she would regret later. my hb said the brother said he (my hb) was right. That there was a sad case of a young muslim couple, in our country who are known to be pious and happily married. One day, the brother joked about him marrying a second wife and the wife could not stomach it and she poisoned his food. This brother died over joking about something he does not even have any plan of doing? I was just speechless. A practicing muslim sister poisoned her husband for saying he wanted to remarry? What happened to asking for divorce? can't she just leave when she started having the evil thoughts of killing him? this was somebody's baby for crying out loud. How is she going to explain it to his parents? his friends, their kids if they have any? And finally how is she going to face Allah? she murdered an innocent man who she vowed to love and care for. I know she did it in a moment of rage and must be filled with regret and remorse after the act, but what will be the use after the poor brother is dead and buried? And to make the matter worse, he was just joking. The brothers who were close to him swore he was not planning anything of such. They were sure he was not planning to propose to anyone. Even though I believe its wrong for a man to torture his wife with jokes about him wanting to remarry for its better for them to go ahead and marry again than trying to make their wives jealous unnecessarily, but then, the sister took the matter waaaaaay too far. In my opinion, she should have just asked to be divorced if she knew she could not handle her husband marrying again. I believe in situations like this when a woman starts having whispers from the cursed shaytan about murder, she needs to ask for divorce as soon as possible. she should even tell her husband that this is why she needs the divorce, and if he knows what is good for him, he would not say no.
I pray Allah forgives the brother and give him jannah and may Allah forgive and guide the sister, aamin.
