oh oh!

Ok, I've been away from this blog for months. I guess I'm about the only blogger who reads other people's blog but does not even have time to write in hers. I've been a tad too busy with schooling and taking care of my family. A lot have happened since the last time I posted here.

The most touching of which is the sad news I heard about a friend who used to live in my old neighbourhood. She was a quiet, beautiful sister , a mum of 3 cute girls and a very good wife and mum, maa sha Allah. 2 years ago, she moved to another country with her family and we sort of lost contact. So recently, I heard she is sick and is now home in our country, without her kids. The nature of her sickness is very disturbing; a mental illness! Now why would a beautiful healthy woman suddenly develop such? Her hubby got another wife! yes, you read that right. As I heard, she started getting into a state of depression when she was informed about the incoming wife, I don't know what her reaction was when she heard it at first, but for whatever reason, her hubby stopped eating her food(and I know that this man is a good husband so its not like he just stopped eating what she cooked there must be a reason Allahu aalim), and naturally this added to her depression. So one day, she took her kids to the beach (ok so who allows a depressed woman to go to a beach alone with her kids ?) and tried to drown herself and the kids!. Laa hawla walaa kuwwata illa billah. Alhamdulillah there were people around who rushed to rescue them, so, she and her kids are still very much alive, but, this suicide/murder attempt was the reason her hubby sent her back home to her parents to go and take care of herself and come back when she is sane!. Ok, so I cried so much when I heard that the sister who told me wished she did not mention it to me at all. I wept even more when I got off the phone and the rest of my day was messed up. I remembered again when it was time to sleep and could not help crying myself to sleep.

I know that anyone who hears or reads this story would either blame the sister for being sooo weak in her eeman that she could not accept some halal act that her husband did, blah blah, OR, blame the husband for being so wicked and heartless as to hurt his wife, the mother of his kids so badly to the point of being demented, blah blah. So my reaction was sort of both. I was so sad and traumatized that I started to wonder about the meaning of the sentence "Allah does not test us with more than we can bear". I've heard people say if Allah is giving us a test, that means we can bear it, but how do we explain situations like this? how do we explain the very sad case of mira morton a practicing muslimah who killed her husband when he married a second wife. I mean how do we explain the situaion of sisters who stopped covering or those who even stopped praying when they were tested with polygyny in their marriage. Really, I'm confused. Is it that these sisters had the ability to be patient with what Allah gave them, but were just too weak in their eeman that they would not even try? I really don't know, but again I pray as I always do that Allah, the exalted Lord does not test me with that which I cannot bear, aamin.