Still losing on the fast 5 diet

Its been another month on the fast 5 diet and I managed to lose another 6 pounds. I started on the 24th of january @ 193.5lb. I now weigh 181.2lb, maa sha Allah. This makes a total of 12lb in 2 months; not a lot, but I intend to stick to it until I reach my goal weight one day insha Allah. I was off the diet for some days during the month when I was down with tonsilitis and had to take antibiotics for 7 days. I have not been having my daily walks for some time as well because of the wind and sandstorm we've had here for some time. So, I think I would have lost a little more if not for these constraints. I hope to reach my goal weight of 150lb by the month of Ramadaan insha Allah. 

My kids are on their mid semester break and we had some guests from another town visiting for 5 days. It was so much fun to have an adult female  company in the same house for 5 days. We cooked and cleaned together and went places together. When it was time for bthem to leave, they were so reluctant to pack and we also wished they could stay around for a few more days. We were all thankful for the opportunity and look forward to having more of it insha Allah.

I am generally taking life easy and not putting pressure on myself, my hb or the kids about anything dunya as much as possible. No more dwelling on what  I need or want or what I dont have or wish others to do for/to me or not. I thought I was traumatised enough about Tahera's death until my friend who came here for a visit told me about a sister I know back home, a married mother of 2 who was run down by a car and ended up with spinal chord injury. She is now confined to a wheelchair and lost the ability to control her bladder and bowels. She cannot feel anything from the armpit down to her feet and needs to be taken care of by others 24/7. Needs to be cleaned and given a shower and had to beg some family members to take her little kids in because she can't take care of them herself. Her brother who is a doctor rented an apartmet for her and got her a maid who he pays for and he is the one who pays for most of her expenses   including adult diapers which are quite expensive over there. I mean this sister does not know she has defecated until she perceives the smell and then she calls someone to come help clean and change her just like a baby. The sister who told me is a doctor and she said the loss of continence due to spinal injury is an irreversible thing so she would remain like that for the rest of her life. I don't think she is even thirty years old yet! Everyone tries as much as possible to avoid spending time with her including her husband and her mum. They go to visit her but could not make themselves to as much as pass the night with her. She has cried so much at her misfortune until her tears dried up and could no longer cry. And I thought I had issues, subhanAllah. I now realize there are some situations which are more difficult to handle than death and if not for Islam she would probably have taken her life by now. I was a complete mess by the time I finished listening to the sister and even wished she had not told me. I pray Allah strengthens the sister's heart and protect her from saying things or asking questions that may count as blasphemy because it would be difficult not to wonder "why me" in her situation. I pray Allah gives her loads of sabr in her affliction and reward each and every pain and discomfort she is having, whether physical or emotional with the ultimate reward; Jannah.

A mystery unraveled after 2 decades!

Few days ago, I had very bad lower abdominal pain which would not go away. I tried lying down, drank water, drank vinegar juice, but it did not get better. I went online to search for the common causes of lower abdominal pain, but what I found made me even more scared than I already was. The two most common causes were said to be appendicitis and kidney problem. I closed the page on kidney problem immediately, because I didn't want to get paranoid.


I knew a little about appendicitis because I was diagnosed with it when I was 14, that was around 20 years ago and the pain was exactly the same. I remember being rushed to the ER, and my poor mum was told I had to be operated on. It was a difficult moment for her because we were on our own. My dad lived in our hometown which was a two hour drive away. I can still vividly remember her sitting by my bedside in the ER, fear and despair written all over her face as tests were being carried out before the scheduled time of the operation to take out my appendix. My dear mum lost my sister few years before that time when she was 8 years old, I was barely 5, a kid, but could still remember her loud wailing and the barrage of visitors in our house when it happened. She was said to have had typhoid fever but, Allah knows best the cause of her death. Back to me, the surgeon that was to take out my appendix was busy with other patients and I was given some analgesics to relieve the pain. When he came few hours later, he said he was tired and that we should leave the operation till the next day. Moreover, I was no longer in pain. The next day, Another doctor came to see me and said maybe I would not need the surgery again as I was completely symptom free and my mum and I were relieved, and all thanks and praise belongs to Allah. That was how I went home with my appendix still intact and nobody could say for sure if it was appendicitis I had or not.


Now, I had exactly the same type of pain which was as bad as I had it then. I used to feel the same pain every few months but not as intense as the one I had last week. It was so painful I could not walk straight, and it made me wonder if it was indeed appendicitis and that my appendix was probably about to burst. I told my hb and off we went to the nearby clinic. The doctor said the same thing I read online that I could have either appendicitis or a kidney problem. She examined my tummy and said my lower abdomen was not as tender as it would be if it were appendicitis, asked me to go for blood test and urine test and gave me an injection to relieve the pain. She however stressed that I should go to the ER in the main hospital if the pain does not subside. I went home and in like two hours, the pain was gone. My hb was however worried that she gave me the injection because he feared the absence of pain could mask the symptom and lead to the appendix to burst which would be a more serious problem. I told him its better we wait for the result of the test and pray for the best. The two tests came out negative and I had to ask the doctor what other ailment I could have had if appendicitis and kidney problem was ruled out. Another doctor was in the room with her when I got there and they both went through my file and the other one asked me about my menstrual cycle. Then she got a clue to what was the cause of my unexplained lower abdominal pain which started 20 years ago. The pain that made me almost part with my appendix, the pain that made my hb and I wonder if I had a bad kidney and we were already thinking of how to face the news that I would be needing a transplant, and I was wondering what would happen to my kids if I were to drop dead because of a failed kidney and inability to get a matching donor...


The pain was caused by ovulation! it was just normal ovulation pain that some 20% of women feel in the middle of their cycle. The pain could be mild or intense, and for twenty years, I have had this pain intermittently, and I did not even know it was ovulation pain?. Its also called mid cycle pain or Mittelschmerz. I had always thought its my appendix each time it came, and just forgot about it after its gone since it never lasted more than a few hours and was usually not unbearable. I am very happy about this discovery, because it meant I dont have to worry about a full appendix about to burst open anymore, then it will make it easier to understand my cycle better and know when it is possible for me to get pregnant or not. Pheeeww!, what a relief, Alhamdulillah.