RaNdOm thoughts

I have been busy with kids and tahfeez school for weeks so I have not been able to write in my blog. I am done with exams now and the kids started their summer break so I can steal a few minutes here and there to write. I wish the summer can be spent relaxing and having lots of fun and traveling to see our family members, but its not going to be that way. My kids go to the Government schools which uses the Arabic curriculum and arabic as a medium of teaching every subject. We are from an English speaking country so I have to homeschool my children in English language especially during the summer so that they can cope in a regular English speaking school if and when we return home. This would not have been an issue if we were certain we would be here as long as we want, but KSA does not usually grant citizenship to expats no matter how long  ere but their status is like that of any other person born anywhere else. They don't have any special privilege as a result of being born here. If may Allah forbid, we become jobless, we all have to leave. So, teaching them in English using the American curriculum becomes imperative so that we have a back up plan in case of the unexpected. It will be nice staying here forever but there is really no true Hijrah to KSA since You cant determine how long you remain there and everything at the end is in Allah's hands.

 What I wrote in my last post about a man remarrying soon after his wife passes away was in no way meant to criticize the man in question. I can't even imagine what he must be going through. He is all alone now and the kids are still in their country because he cant care for them properly on his own and he has to go to work so they will have to be left alone at home for many hours in a day which is not a good thing. 

  The only thing I personally felt even though it should not be any of my business is that it was a little too soon. But hey I cant even blame my late friends hb since it was her own mum that offered her sister to him in marriage. The mum might have reasoned he would end up marrying some woman one day sooner or later anyways so why not tell him to marry her daughter so that she would not lose him as a son-in-law  and risk her grandkids being maltreated by a total stranger that he is likely to marry. I guess the way women think is completely different from the way men think. Thankful slave mentioned that it usually happens the other way round as well. Yes. I have seen it before even in my own culture. In fact this is more common than the husband marrying his late wife's sister and it is seen as acceptable. But I notice a woman usually feels reluctant to remarry after her husband dies and if they do, it takes a longer time before they can really make themselves do it. The sister Thankful slave mentioned that married her B-I-L after her hb passed away most likely did not marry him the day after her iddah ended right? even though that would have been halal.One of our friends was not at all surprised when she heard our late friends hb was remarrying. She said she had a neighbour back home who married his late wife's sister a week after she passed away. Meanwhile a friend of mine whom I wrote about on this same blog who lost her husband january last year still puts me off each time I pray for her that she would be blessed by another husband who will help her to raise her young kids. She tells me she does not need a husband; she needs to give her all to her kids. Of course I think she may eventually change her mind one day and decide to remarry, but hmmmm...what I have concluded in my little mind is..................................................................

Men, no matter what they think or how macho they think they are and see themselves as being superior to woman, Despite the fact that  many do not respect women or even realize how important women are, are more in need of women than they will ever be able to accept and affirm, women also need men but men need women more than women need men. I have heard many women say they will not remarry if their husband dies before them whereas men are in fact fantasizing having another woman or other women even when their wife is beside them. I know most people will not agree with this but these are my RaNdOm thoughts for today.

 

Still losing on the fast 5 diet

Its been another month on the fast 5 diet and I managed to lose another 6 pounds. I started on the 24th of january @ 193.5lb. I now weigh 181.2lb, maa sha Allah. This makes a total of 12lb in 2 months; not a lot, but I intend to stick to it until I reach my goal weight one day insha Allah. I was off the diet for some days during the month when I was down with tonsilitis and had to take antibiotics for 7 days. I have not been having my daily walks for some time as well because of the wind and sandstorm we've had here for some time. So, I think I would have lost a little more if not for these constraints. I hope to reach my goal weight of 150lb by the month of Ramadaan insha Allah. 

My kids are on their mid semester break and we had some guests from another town visiting for 5 days. It was so much fun to have an adult female  company in the same house for 5 days. We cooked and cleaned together and went places together. When it was time for bthem to leave, they were so reluctant to pack and we also wished they could stay around for a few more days. We were all thankful for the opportunity and look forward to having more of it insha Allah.

I am generally taking life easy and not putting pressure on myself, my hb or the kids about anything dunya as much as possible. No more dwelling on what  I need or want or what I dont have or wish others to do for/to me or not. I thought I was traumatised enough about Tahera's death until my friend who came here for a visit told me about a sister I know back home, a married mother of 2 who was run down by a car and ended up with spinal chord injury. She is now confined to a wheelchair and lost the ability to control her bladder and bowels. She cannot feel anything from the armpit down to her feet and needs to be taken care of by others 24/7. Needs to be cleaned and given a shower and had to beg some family members to take her little kids in because she can't take care of them herself. Her brother who is a doctor rented an apartmet for her and got her a maid who he pays for and he is the one who pays for most of her expenses   including adult diapers which are quite expensive over there. I mean this sister does not know she has defecated until she perceives the smell and then she calls someone to come help clean and change her just like a baby. The sister who told me is a doctor and she said the loss of continence due to spinal injury is an irreversible thing so she would remain like that for the rest of her life. I don't think she is even thirty years old yet! Everyone tries as much as possible to avoid spending time with her including her husband and her mum. They go to visit her but could not make themselves to as much as pass the night with her. She has cried so much at her misfortune until her tears dried up and could no longer cry. And I thought I had issues, subhanAllah. I now realize there are some situations which are more difficult to handle than death and if not for Islam she would probably have taken her life by now. I was a complete mess by the time I finished listening to the sister and even wished she had not told me. I pray Allah strengthens the sister's heart and protect her from saying things or asking questions that may count as blasphemy because it would be difficult not to wonder "why me" in her situation. I pray Allah gives her loads of sabr in her affliction and reward each and every pain and discomfort she is having, whether physical or emotional with the ultimate reward; Jannah.

Diet helped me get rid of tinnitus

I have stopped using the Grape seed extract for several weeks. In fact, I only used it for for a few days, not up to 2 weeks in all. During the first few days after I stopped, I noticed I still had the ringing sometimes during the day, maybe like 10% of the time, but it was not as loud as it had always been, and it was such that I could easily ignore it, without having to mask it with the AC unit and I was always able to sleep at night without any background noise. When you have a condition that is said to have no cure, and you are trying to wrap your head round the thought of having to live with it for the rest of your life, a partial relief from the ailment no matter how little would feel like the best thing in the world. I was however not as excited as I should have been back then because I always had this nagging fear at the back of my mind that the ringing could return with full force any time, and I would be back to where I have to have a fan or AC on whenever I am in a room, no matter the weather condition. I dreaded the thought, but there was nothing I could do but pray. 

Sometime along the line, I stumbled upon the fast five diet while searching for the reviews of the warrior diet on Amazon. The warrior diet is one good diet that can be easily adopted by those who don't have the will power to try the fast 5 diet. WD allows you to eat a light BF and lunch made of fruit and veggies and then you can have a sumptous dinner. The basis of the WD is also shifting between periods of under eating and overeating. Many people have used it successfully but I found the fast five somehow easier than the WD because while fasting, it is much easier for me not to think of food. Well, it just occurred to me few days ago that the period my tinnitus stopped completely, coincides with the time I started the fast 5 diet. I have read on earthclinic some people who claimed that eating a neanderthal diet in which they only ate whole unrefined foods, the type that would have been available to the cave man during that time, cured their tinnitus but I could not bring myself to eat in that strict manner. Now that I am on the fast 5, I eat 1 main meal daily which is almost always the same dish and I snack on some nuts, or a cup of youghurt and then have a fruit before dinner time and thats it. I have not eaten rice,  bread or any junk food for many days now. The best part is that I did not even miss it. The fact that I can eat whatever I want during the 5 hour eating window makes this diet easier for me than atkins, though I would have probably lost more than this on atkins.

Anyway, I  think I will stick to the fast 5 lifestyle even after I have reached my goal weight so that hopefully, I can continue to live tinnitus free.

POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

3. Don't over do; keep your limits

4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does

5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip

6. Dream more while you are awake

7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..

8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind (your partner) others of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present

11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you

12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like
algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

13. Smile and laugh more

14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

15. Call your family often

16. Each day give something good to others

17. Forgive everyone for everything

18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6

19. Try to make at least three people smile each day

20. What other people think of you is none of your business

21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will Stay in touch.

Life:

*****As Muslims we say Allaah


22. Put (GOD) Allaah first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.

23. GOD heals everything

24. Do the right things

25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change

26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up

27. The best is yet to come

28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful

29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it

30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.



ENJOY LIFE WHILE YOU ARE ALIVE ........

**article written by an unknown author**