RaNdOm thoughts

I have been busy with kids and tahfeez school for weeks so I have not been able to write in my blog. I am done with exams now and the kids started their summer break so I can steal a few minutes here and there to write. I wish the summer can be spent relaxing and having lots of fun and traveling to see our family members, but its not going to be that way. My kids go to the Government schools which uses the Arabic curriculum and arabic as a medium of teaching every subject. We are from an English speaking country so I have to homeschool my children in English language especially during the summer so that they can cope in a regular English speaking school if and when we return home. This would not have been an issue if we were certain we would be here as long as we want, but KSA does not usually grant citizenship to expats no matter how long  ere but their status is like that of any other person born anywhere else. They don't have any special privilege as a result of being born here. If may Allah forbid, we become jobless, we all have to leave. So, teaching them in English using the American curriculum becomes imperative so that we have a back up plan in case of the unexpected. It will be nice staying here forever but there is really no true Hijrah to KSA since You cant determine how long you remain there and everything at the end is in Allah's hands.

 What I wrote in my last post about a man remarrying soon after his wife passes away was in no way meant to criticize the man in question. I can't even imagine what he must be going through. He is all alone now and the kids are still in their country because he cant care for them properly on his own and he has to go to work so they will have to be left alone at home for many hours in a day which is not a good thing. 

  The only thing I personally felt even though it should not be any of my business is that it was a little too soon. But hey I cant even blame my late friends hb since it was her own mum that offered her sister to him in marriage. The mum might have reasoned he would end up marrying some woman one day sooner or later anyways so why not tell him to marry her daughter so that she would not lose him as a son-in-law  and risk her grandkids being maltreated by a total stranger that he is likely to marry. I guess the way women think is completely different from the way men think. Thankful slave mentioned that it usually happens the other way round as well. Yes. I have seen it before even in my own culture. In fact this is more common than the husband marrying his late wife's sister and it is seen as acceptable. But I notice a woman usually feels reluctant to remarry after her husband dies and if they do, it takes a longer time before they can really make themselves do it. The sister Thankful slave mentioned that married her B-I-L after her hb passed away most likely did not marry him the day after her iddah ended right? even though that would have been halal.One of our friends was not at all surprised when she heard our late friends hb was remarrying. She said she had a neighbour back home who married his late wife's sister a week after she passed away. Meanwhile a friend of mine whom I wrote about on this same blog who lost her husband january last year still puts me off each time I pray for her that she would be blessed by another husband who will help her to raise her young kids. She tells me she does not need a husband; she needs to give her all to her kids. Of course I think she may eventually change her mind one day and decide to remarry, but hmmmm...what I have concluded in my little mind is..................................................................

Men, no matter what they think or how macho they think they are and see themselves as being superior to woman, Despite the fact that  many do not respect women or even realize how important women are, are more in need of women than they will ever be able to accept and affirm, women also need men but men need women more than women need men. I have heard many women say they will not remarry if their husband dies before them whereas men are in fact fantasizing having another woman or other women even when their wife is beside them. I know most people will not agree with this but these are my RaNdOm thoughts for today.

 

The school predicament for expatriates living in saudi

I want to write about an issue that affects most foreigners living in Saudi Arabia; The decision on which school to place their kids. The language of communication in Saudi Arabia like most countries in the middle east is arabic, so this is the medium of teaching in saudi schools up till high school level, and in some cases, even to university level. However, a high percentage of foreigners who are not from gulf countries speak english and would rather their kids learn in english. The international private schools teach in english but usually, either they charge exhorbitant fees or they are substandard, or worse, they are run based on the culture and ettiquettes of the country that establish the schools.

In my case, for instance, I want my kids to learn english and arabic and be fluent in both. If I place them in saudi school, then, I have to teach them english myself or find someone to pay to do the job. Otherwise, they would not be able to school in my country, should we decide to return home. On the other hand, if I place them in the international school, they would be lacking in arabic and worse is the fear they may imbibe the un islamic culture of the school, and I need to work very hard to raise them as pious muslim children, and would have to explain to them why they can't do certain things they would be made to do in the school for example, music.

This is a difficult position in which I think I can't win. No one seems to understand. Either someone is telling us to just send them to the saudi school and teach them english, which is easier said than done with 4 boys, or others telling us to send them to the international school and exert the extra effort to guide them to be upright with the help of Allah.

I really pray Allah makes out a way out of this predicament and guide us to what is best for them in this world and the next.